Desire and the presence of God

I remember the first time I saw Chagall’s stained-glass windows in the cathedral in Zürich, Switzerland. They were breathtakingly beautiful. I was moved in a simple, very ordinary manner by what I saw: the yellow, green, blue colours. The flowing forms. The Biblical motifs. All coming together in a special moment in which one feels a special desire to be with God, the One who is Beauty, who is Holiness. I experienced a desire to pray. I felt the need to dwell, to remain in this space. Even though my words and thoughts were completely inadequate to express the desire I felt, I knew that what I saw was preliminary, material, concrete – and yet I experienced immortality and Spirit and desired to have more.

Gradually I began to realize that my response with its desire to be with God was because of what God was doing to me. God was touching me. It was as if my eyes were directed to the windows, as if the windows said to me: “Look here!” Yellow, green and blue colours caught and held my eye. The flowing forms took me and lifted my heart skywards. God spoke to me in the Biblical motifs. Ultimately, it was not really about me looking at the windows. God was entering my life in this way and my desire was awakened because of the divine presence. Responding to the divine touch, I desired to know more, understand more, find words to speak about this, to fathom the Mystery of what is happening to me.

It is like a moth drawn to the Light – as if one wants to lose oneself in what is pure Light. It is looking in a mirror and seeing a mystery – and desiring the one day when one will see clearly, from countenance to countenance. It is ultimately all about the divine Presence.