We have a royal time at our meeting. Exceedlingly royal. The spirit is good. Everyone is enjoying themselves. In the meantime we are also hard at work with highly technical academic work. The knowledge of many a lifetime is exhibited here. We are impressed and we learn alot. Theology can be profound and deep.
One of the colleagues has two of his latest books with him. The one, I see, is on the resurrection. I am immediately interested, also because we had a long, most enjoyable and intense discussion the previous night which made me reflect on many things. And now I am surprised to see that he has also written about the resurrection.
How come, I ask him?
His father, he immediately tells me, died four years ago. Soon after that he also lost both his in-laws. And not only he, but his whole family was confronted with the reality of death. And to bring clarity in his own mind, what better than to write a book? Then he spent three years on it and at last the product is finished.
This is the experiential reality out of which theology is sometimes born. The direct, naked confrontation with the last, big enemy. It is an existential struggle. After years of having been engaged in theology and years of writing learned books, this happens. You are brought to standstill. The answers are not yet there. How do you respond to the harsh realities of life? What does your theology tell you in such a situation? How do you speak to the little ones in the family when they are struck with the deadly blow of losing the dearest and the loveliest in their lives?
The answers are not ready, you discover, surprised. You must sit, patiently, reflectively, struggling to formulate the cries of your heart. The brain is waiting. And this happens even after 25 years of theology.
I want to read that book. The feastly atmosphere and the deep discussions are nice and good. I am learning a lot. The brian gymnastics makes me mentally fitter.
But I want to reflect on the deeper issues, I want to meditate on the greater things. My heart asks for more, desires beyond..... I want to listen to the experience of faith, feel the touch of the Spirit.
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