The unexpected touch of God

Sometimes we live a quiet, still existence for years before, one day, we realise that something special has happened to us. Our past lives may have been good and fine with no major or evil deeds. It may have been a life which we enjoyed and which was fulfilling. We can be happily married, have a special family, great kids, have enough to eat, wonderful friends and lack few things in life. There need not be any problem in our lives. And even our spiritual lives may have been good. We may have learnt much about God, found happiness in our relationship with God and enjoyed being active in the church.

And yet, one day, something happens to us which lets us look at life quite differently. We know something has been happening to us. It is as if a spark has ignited in us. We are no longer what we were. Something, someone has changed and transformed us.

It is then that many things happen to us. We begin to reflect on this special experience which we had. Why have I never before had something like this? Why have I not seen life as I see it now? Why is it that what someone said or what I read somewhere touched my innermost being and confronted me in a special way with the divine presence in my life?

It is not that I am so bright to have understood myself better, or that I grew more mature in my understanding of matters. It is not that I am emotional or on a high.

It is a lingering, continuous experience and awareness of love which came to me from outside myself, which touched me and whose presence I keep on experiencing.

It is as if someone throws a refreshing bucket of cold water in my face – making me stand back and wonder about its impact.

I see this Love before me, I feel changed by it, I am no longer what I was. I have been transformed.

I stand perplexed: can I be so privileged? Why was this given to me, this amazing grace? And why only now? How different my life would have been if only I experienced this twenty years ago. How much more love I would have shared with others, how much more I would have loved God, how much more I would have lived without my own little petty pre-occupations and selfishness?

It is then that one finds abiding peace. We have been brought to a place where it is good te be – on the mountain, in the sacred presence. And the only desire that is left is to have more peace, to live closer to God. A deep yearning fills us.

Our spiritual journey, having begun many years ago and having been good and nice and rewarding, is now no longer just another step with God. It is a passion. It brings me to desire the perfect union with God.

This is pure grace. God has touched me in love. Love embraces me. The mystical touch of God makes me call out: let me have more! Let your peace fill me completely.

Augustine prayed:

To late I learnt to love You, o Beauty, so old and yet so new. To late I got to love you! You called me, you named me and made an end to my deafness. You let the light flow out and made it shine over me, my blindness took flight! And you yielded a lovely odour which I inhaled deeply. I longed and desired for you. I tasted You and I and I hungered for You. You touched me and in my burnt a fire to experience your peace.


Too late I learnt to love You, o Beauty