"I feel great love for that face." On mystical love.

I am reading the book “Silence” by the well-known Japannese author Shusako Endo who has often been nominated for the Nobel Prize. His history as a Japannese catholic has been discussed in a fascinating book by Philip Yancey. (Japan's Faithful Judas; cf the discussion in http://michellan.multiply.com/journal/item/26.)

Endo’s book is about the cruel and successful persecution of catholic priests and christians in Japan in the sixteenth and seventeenth century that led to the almost complete annihilation of Christianity in the country. In the first chapter, one of the priests who is returning to Japan to look for one of their own who has been said to have apostasized, Sebastian Rodriguez, describes his feelings on a stop in Macao just before they would begin their dangerous journey in Japan.

He reflects on Jesus instruction to his disciples to go out in the world, preach the gospel and baptize all people. “And now, as I obey this injunction, the face of Christ rises up before my eyes.” But, he then asks, “What did the face of Christ look like?” The Bible does not answer the question. Early Christians thought of him as a shepherd with a short mantle, holding a lamb and a staff. “That was hoe the earliest Christians envisaged the gentle face of Christ.” In the Eastern Church Christ was given an Eastern look with a long nose, curly hair, a black beard. Medieval artists painted a face of Christ resplendent with the authority of a king. These faces are not the one he wants to see in his anxious night. That night he recalls the face of Christ he saw for the first time as a young seminarian. “Christ has one foot on the sepulchre and in his right hand he holds a crucifix. He is facing straight out and his face bears the expression of encouragement it had when he commanded his disciples three times, ‘Feed my lambs, feed my lambs, feed my lambs...’ It is a face filled with vigor and strength.”

It is the last words in this reflection on the face of Christ that struck me. Endo writes, “I feel great love for that face. I am always fascinated by the face of Christ just like a man fascinated by the face of his beloved.”

Endo’s book is a fascinating read and contains awful descriptions of the history of Christianity and the perseverance of the faithful in times of utmost persecution. But what struck me more than the contextual information, is the book’s spirituality. Endo’ characters are very human: they are anxious, irritated, suspicious, but they also have a tender relationship with Christ. It is a relationship of love. “I feel great love for that face.” This love is experienced in a face to face relationship. One, as a believer, is encouraged by the face of Christ that looks you straight in the eyes and says: “Feed me....” It is a face that evokes deep love, as deep as the love between people who are united in love.

It is so much more poignant to link this book with Endo’s personal history of rejection and persecution because he was a Christian and his rejection in France in the second world war by Christians because he was a Japannese. Alienation is a key term in his books. One lacks a home, a place of security. But in the dark night of the soul, amidst the storm of anxiety about the consequences of our faith, we experience that gentle, but strong face of the One who looks us lovingly and encouragingly in the eyes. And then we reach out to feed Him, feed Him, feed Him, by talking about this gentle, strong face to those who oppress and persecute us.

In the midst of rejection, one cannot apostasize. One cannot, though you try, give up your faith. There is, as in Endo’s case, the mystery that draws you back and this mystery is the loving face of Christ. It is in many ways a unique face, now and then seen also in the face of believers. But despite human treason, human apostasy, the face remains with us, the loving relationship is not given up by the One who grants love. “I feel great love for that face.”

There is one scene in the Bible that I recalled when I read this part of Endo's book. It is where Peter, having denied Jesus, turns and looks Jesus in the face. That is when he bursts out in tears... I see his face of love and I recognize my treason and failures when I see the face of love.

"I feel great love for that face."